GENDERLESS LOVE?

I just can't understand the way some people want to control the lives of others which of course include telling them who to love or not love. Do we ever stop to wonder why we assume that heterosexual love is the only right love? What does it matter who we love or decide to have sex with so far it is with consenting adult(s)? How much are we conditioned by society, family, religious beliefs, media etc when choosing a partner? How much of our relationship preferences are learned behaviour?

I am bisexual, i appreciate my bisexuality, the ability to be attracted to both men and women, although this for me goes beyond biological sex. Why is it so difficult to have a relationship not base on gender roles? Even when i am in a same sex relationship, i am often asked who the husband is? Must relationship be based on husband/wife dichotomy which translates to gender stereotype?

I just want to be myself and expect my partner to be himself or herself, i do not want roles , i just want to be me. I do not want to be a husband or wife, i just want to be a loving partner. My ex hated that word "partner", she felt it was too businesslike, but well, i want an emotional / physical partnership, for a partnership you sure need a partner. It is so difficult sometimes to get this message across . With a man, the society has already conditioned him to believe he has the upper hand in relationships with the opposite sex, he takes it for granted that you really are at his service, and for the so called progressives men , they believe they should be given a pat on the back for conceding some rights to women.

Same sex relationships have this problem too, i am always disappointed when a prospective date starts asking if i am the man in a relationship or woman, translation : what is your gender role in a relationship? I do not need a gender role. I do look forward to having a great relationship with someone who is not constrained by gender roles. Yes, i want a genderless love or atleast a genderless relationship, is it too much to ask for?